Never have I wonder how it goes to be like this. Waking up in the morning and you see a lot of people in front of your face, doing everything as a team. No time to think about whats your favorite food you want to eat everyday. Living as a communal means all the emotion that you have is disappear because mostly it melts as well with the whole people you live with. Living as a communal means you need to listen to all people, maybe because of that you feel lost about yourself. But that is not like what it is.
Never have I wonder how could I live with all of these people, sharing foods, mind, works, and all the things even till the dirty shirt we wash together. Living as a communal with no cooking skill is the hardest, but these people sometimes help me to learn, at the same times my no-cooking-skill could be a joke for them too. And that’s okay, its fun tho. Living as a communal means all the feelings for the family is gone, but you know I cannot say it in English so it gone but deep down its not gone, got it? Maybe its about time, to adapt and to learn more about how life goes on among so much people.
Living as a communal means I dedicated my time for the people, I don’t know if its me missed communication about the feeling to be in communal or it is just like it is. So I just wanna write my whole feelings for this, not even try to judge or something that could make the wrong intepretation about how actually the feelings to live in a communal way.
I’m not an expert here, sometimes I feel strange about myself, or even worse I feel stupid for no reason. Living as a communal means you’re ready to hear all the good and bad things you do, make sure there’s no hurt feeling though its really hit you perfectly. Living in a communal is something that makes you learn everyday, meet the new people as well as the new condition. People come and go, but you, as yourself, you still the same. I don’t know its not work in me or what, it is just so much to think not even to do. Living in a communal means youre ready to face the boring routine as well as youre happy with the new routine that come ahead.
Living in this kind of new situation is complicated. You feel ashamed just because you cant handle the excel kind of thing or the design you gonna do in your presentation, but at least you learn. That’s what I told myself everyday. Living in this super fast life cycle means no time for the lazy mind, move over and just do as much things as you can. Be productive, so you have no time to think about how the world hit you.
Living in a communal means you cannot see people doing their job alone, you need an inisiative so that you can work as a team. All those kind of works is really matters for the rest of the goals. Working as a communal is complicated, you need to take care of yourself but in the other hand there’s some people you should keep their feelings too. Sometimes you got hurt, or sometimes you hurt people.
I wrote the letter from me, for myself. To remember that the things like this also have the both sides. In this time, I exist and think how strange it is to be in this communal life. But, I also survived, counting days by days or even hour to think how to spend my life around all those people that have difference kind of perspective.
Sometimes, it is just me. About all the anxiety and all the mistakes that I’ve made, which I cant handle and end up blaming myself for all the things I cant handle. Making mistakes is fine for some people, but for me its really wrong. Of course I hate that kind of feeling, that’s makes me sad and think a lot about something that is happen routinely.
I don’t know, living in a communal is change me a lot. I learn to take the responsibility, to take care everything as independent as I can, to communicate things for sure, to talk more, listen more, and learn more. Now is the time, to think and to create more good things ahead.
Maybe it takes time.
But living as a communal makes me understand that those smile from all people is everything.
Now I know, the smile which always end up the day is the most important thing that I experienced here.