Living in a Communal
Never have I wondered how it goes to be like this? Waking up in the morning and you see a lot of people in front of your face, doing everything as a team. No time to think about what favorite food you want to eat every day. Living as a communal means all the emotion that you have is disappear because mostly it melts as well with the whole people you live with. Living as a communal means you need to listen to all people, and maybe because of that you feel lost about yourself. But that is not like what it is.
Never have I wondered how could I live with all of these people, sharing food, mind, work, and all the things even till the dirty shirt we wash together. Living as a communal with no cooking skills is the hardest, but these people sometimes help me to learn, at the same time my no-cooking-skill could be a joke for them too. And that’s okay, it’s fun tho. Living as a communal means all the feelings for the family is gone, but you know I cannot say it in English so it’s gone but deep down it’s not gone, got it? Maybe it’s about time, to adapt and learn more about how life goes on among so many people.
Living in a community means I dedicated my time to the people, I don’t know if it’s me missed communication about the feeling to be in a community or if it is just like it is. So I just wanna write my whole feelings for this, not even try to judge or something that could make the wrong interpretation about how the feelings to live communally.
I’m not an expert here, sometimes I feel strange about myself, or even worse I feel stupid for no reason. Living as a communal means you’re ready to hear all the good and bad things you do, and make sure there are no hurt feelings though they hit you perfectly. Living in a community is something that makes you learn every day, and meet new people as well as new conditions. People come and go, but you, as yourself, you still the same. I don’t know if it does not work for me or what, it is just so much to think not even to do. Living in a community means you’re ready to face the boring routine as well as you’re happy with the new routine that comes ahead.
Living in this kind of new situation is complicated. You feel ashamed just because you can’t handle the excel kind of thing or the design you gonna do in your presentation, but at least you learn. That’s what I told myself every day. Living in this super fast life cycle means no time for the lazy mind, move over and just do as many things as you can. Be productive, so you have no time to think about how the world hit you.
Living in a community means you cannot see people doing their job alone, you need initiative so that you can work as a team. All those kinds of work matter for the rest of the goals. Working as a communal is complicated, you need to take care of yourself but on the other hand, there are some people you should keep their feelings to. Sometimes you got hurt, or sometimes you hurt people.
I wrote the letter from me, for myself. Remember that the things like this also have both sides. At this time, I exist and think how strange it is to be in this communal life. But, I also survived, counting days by days or even hours to think how to spend my life around all those people that have a different kinds of perspectives.
Sometimes, it is just me. About all the anxiety and all the mistakes that I’ve made, that I can’t handle, and end up blaming myself for all the things I can’t handle. Making mistakes is fine for some people but for me, it’s wrong. Of course, I hate that kind of feeling, that makes me sad and think a lot about something that is happening routinely.
I don’t know, living in a community is change me a lot. I learn to take responsibility, to take care of everything as independently as I can, to communicate things for sure, to talk more, to listen more, and learn more. Now is the time, to think and to create more good things ahead.
Maybe it takes time.
But living as a communal makes me understand that those smile from all people is everything.
Now I know, the smile which always ends up the day is the most important thing that I experienced here.
